It’s nice to have a plan. It makes us feel like we’re in control and have anticipated all that could go wrong. But what do you do when something unexpected happens? We choose to freak out or pivot. Pivoting is changing our path without changing the goal. While this can be unsettling at best, it’s sometimes the only way forward. Who are the people you want by your side in times of transition? The strongest and most meaningful relationships are forged in the fire. You know, the kind of people that come in at the perfect time just when you think you can’t make it on your own. Their presence gives you hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. They help us minimize doubts and focus on truth. When life is shaky, they ground you. Our family was gifted to have such people beside us in a time of major transition in one of the most crucial phases of our swimming journey.
It started the day we told our kids we were moving. Not just moving across town, but across the country from Alaska to West Tennessee. They would have a new coach and team, but two hours away from our new home. They would still wake up early to lift and do dryland, but no longer while joking around with their teammates. They could still swim, but not consistently in the same pool. They would not be sharing a lane or talking about what happened over the weekend in the locker room. The plan was that our two kids still living at home would train together (alone) for a year before the older would join his brother in college to swim. That would leave our youngest to train by herself for two years before graduation. We didn’t know how it was going to work out. There were more unknowns than knowns.
To be honest, there were some days I didn’t think it would work. Often, a well-laid plan would be thwarted, and we’d have to go back to the drawing board. One of the first obstacles to overcome would be finding a training pool. The closest public pool that we initially found was an hour away. Fortunately, we learned about a woman in the area (15 minutes from our home) who is a world-class Paralympian triathlete guide. She has a two-lane 25-yard indoor pool in her back yard. She loves to encourage athletes and agreed to let them swim at her house for the summer. She also has peacocks! BUT we really needed a lane line. Turns out they are pretty expensive. Who knew?! Yes, we had taken lane lines for granted! Their new coach in Nashville put out a message on Instagram and within 20 minutes we found someone selling a used one for $100. We picked it up and threw it in the back of the minivan. It was like we had just won the lottery. Training was on its way with inhalers close at hand. Tennessee summers are not the same as Alaska! Early morning practices with occasional peacock squawks and other animals encouraging along the deck became the new norm. Things weren’t perfect, but we were doing it.
Little by little their trust was growing in their new coach, JJ. He went above and beyond and beyond some more. He sent daily practices and checked in via text before and after practice to answer questions and see how it went. He was not only interested in interval times but placed emphasis on how they were feeling physically and mentally. His superpower is encouragement and seeing the positive in EVERY circumstance. Without Coach JJ Langhals, this journey would have come to a screeching halt.
Next, my son started having pain. Not just pain in his shoulder or hip or knee, but multiple spots. Enter in the most amazing physical therapist I’ve ever met. He not only knows body mechanics, but he understands swimming. He knew immediately after examining him that he swam breaststroke and that his hips ran low in the water. This was connected to some of the pain he was experiencing. Our son was given exercises to strengthen and prevent injury. Within weeks the pain was gone, and we were back on track. I will always be impressed and thankful for Scott Wright’s time and expertise.
The fall and winter brought more challenges. The kids began swimming in a different pool and tried to join some others, but it was not consistent with their training plan, so they had to pivot and train on their own again. That season, they did not see time drops in their “best” events but saw improvement in off-events that could still be celebrated. Distance events were improving which showed they were building endurance. Some meets featured sprint events they had not swum since their 10 and under days, like the 100 IM and non-free 50’s. Best times and team records were something to get excited about. They were able to participate in relays again and even swam a mixed relay together. They were able to travel and swim in new pools. Victories were now less focused on time drops in their best events, but now on gratitude for little things that had become big things. Things like enjoying sitting by your sibling because they were now your best friend. Making new friends, even if you only saw them at meets. Seeing your coach in person and getting immediate feedback on your races or at a special practice. Cheering on someone you barely know and being cheered on by someone who barely knows you. Hot Heats. National Team Gear. Media Day. High fives. Team championships. Sharing snacks. Learning how to persevere because you know how badly you want it.
Spring came and my son took a break and played soccer. My daughter tried track. Taking a break can make you stronger unless you get shin splints. That hurts pretty bad. But that’s a different story. Summer came and they finished a strong long course season with a first Winter Juniors cut. There was much to celebrate and much to fear as my son was heading off to college and would leave my daughter to train alone.
Tears of worry and fear turned to little tears of joy and gratitude as I witnessed a change in our vision. We were beginning to be able to see the good alongside the bad. Life is rarely all good or all bad. It takes a trained eye to see both. While I would not choose the trials that came our way, I am thankful for our vision being corrected and finding a healthier balance.
With this next phase of training for our youngest daughter, we would add recruiting. Along came another perfect person at the perfect time. A teammate’s father was starting a new business designed to help match high school swimmers with best-fit colleges (SwimIntel). He offered to assist us in the recruiting process. His knowledge and data helped us to narrow down our options and research some of the schools that reached out. Because of our experiences, our criteria had evolved. For us, the people and culture of the program was now more important than the facility or ranking.
Back to the training…the owner of the pool with the peacocks who is a nationally ranked triathlete and Paralympic guide (Kirsten Sass) is now going to be the head coach of a swim team near our home. However, her experience was primarily with open-water swimming, so she needed help writing practices. Insert Coach JJ’s practices. Are you kidding me? This is too good to be true! My daughter now gets to practice with swimmers from 8 different countries who are using Coach JJ’s practices. Kirsten took our daughter in as one of her own. She is very inspiring with her words and actions. She personally trains hard and reminds her athletes to “keep moving forward” when they face obstacles. These were the right words at the right time for us.
Fast forward to being recruited, accomplishing best times in best events again, deciding to graduate a year early to pursue her dream of studying sports nutrition and swimming in college. Her brother came home to train for the summer. Everything seemed to be ending on a high note.
Then we got news the pool and program she had been training in was shutting down permanently. There were two months left of training and a summer conference championship looming. This would be another opportunity for growth. We found a pool to train about a half hour away. On day one they met a three-time D3 National Champion who came to lap swim. She had moved here for graduate school. What are the odds? She was trying to swim by herself too. Now they had each other. They not only gained a teammate, but a new friend and mentor.
So we’re nearly to the finish line with great time drops, yet my daughter was feeling VERY tired. We didn’t think much of it at first, but it started getting worse. We decided to reach out to Beine Wellness. After completing DNA testing, we had some additional labs drawn. Erica was able to design a very specific plan to help her unique health challenges. She has begun implementing the changes and is already seeing improvement!
While there is much we can and should do as parents to support and love our athletes, there are also countless things we can’t do. We need other people to help us along the way. When that person steps up to help your child, you won’t ever forget. It also reminds us of how much of an impact we can make on someone else if we are willing to lend a hand.
As you enter this next season, I encourage you to search for the good every day, no matter how small it seems. Choose to pivot and not freak out, at least not too long. There will likely be trials, but “keep moving forward” and strengthen your relationships. Remember to reach out and encourage others. Invest in your people. It will likely change their life and yours for the better. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We all need it whether we admit it or not. We are BETTER TOGETHER.
Mary Keen is a Purdue graduate and experienced pharmacist. While homeschooling her four children, she has supported their competitive swimming careers from age group through high school and now at the collegiate level. Mary has personally navigated the gluten free/dairy free life and has a passion to help others reach their full potential in and out of the water.
